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Blog: Blog2
  • Writer's pictureGemma

What Do You Really Want From Your Life Or In Your Life?

What do you really want from your life or in your life? Have a think about your work/life balance. Is it what you want right now for your life? These past few months and over a year now have been hard for everyone and its really made us think what is really important in our life right now.

Do you have children? Are you a carer for a loved one or do you work all the hours in the day but just feel like you are getting drained and need time off? This is where my husband and I were at this past week. Especially with 2 children, lockdowns and now we've had to contend with 10 days of self isolation due to someone being in contact with one of the children either at school or nursey. (We're again at that point this week where one person has tested positive at nursery so the whole of pre school is shut, so we've got Brianna at home for 10 days again). A few weeks ago it was Hugo who was at home again for 10 days. So as mums who do most of the home schooling plus trying to work at the same time (I'm included) we feel the brunt of all the stress.

So you need to take time off from your daily life for you to recoup and reset your life. By taking time out from everyday tasks (including parenting) this is where you can truly enjoy your mind, body and soul and really feel connected again to yourself without getting interrupted every second when you are trying to have a conversation or when you are feeling low you will know how to deal with it better. Its all about being able to come back to a state of calmness and knowing how to deal with certain situations when you have had time off to do this.

The past weekend, my husband and I took 3 days off and went to London for the weekend. Do you know what, it was the best decision we made as we were physically and mentally drained (just from being parents, self employed and navigating all the lockdown stuff that comes with schools and nursey being shut because of self isolation etc) There comes a point where it becomes such a chore and you feel drained from it all.

Taking time out isn't bad, its certainly needed for your mind. You can come from a place of healed and calmness rather than a place of being exhausted all the time, shouting at your child or the person you are caring for and it is so needed right now in our lives.

My husband and I had the best time in London. We took Friday off and got the train up there. Dropped our bags off at the hotel and then went to the Sky Garden. We've never been there before and it was soooo nice. We had lunch overlooking London. It was really nice to finally feel connected to each other again. We then went back to the hotel for a chance to relax and went out for dinner that evening. Even just to go out for the evening was nice, no baby sitter to organise, no children to organise, just us. We could just get ready and go out, none of this faffing business you have to do when you have children or are caring for someone. It was really nice to just be close to each other, I felt like I could just touch and cuddle my husband without getting interrupted all the time. It really was so nice just to feel connected once again.

Saturday we went for a walk through Kensington Gardens. We took a walk through the Princess Diana Memorial fountain. Just to be able to take our shoes off and paddle in the water, gave me a sense of peace and calmness right there. Just feeling the water in my toes, around my ankles and listening to the water. Feeling connected to the earth, made it feel that little bit more special.

Again just being the two of us made it feel even more special because we were just us and not parents, not having to think about other people, just thinking about each other. This was amazing and something we needed a long time ago but having children you cant just up sticks and move. They need organising first. (as I write this I am being interrupted again and again, I'm having to break up fights, arguments, trying to explain to a 4 year old why she cant have whatever it is that she wants) so as you can see I am now in a better place than I was last week or the previous weeks. I love my children dearly but god they are hard work and I'm sure a lot of you think the same as well as your carers out there.

This past weekend has taught me to ask for hep when you need it. Don't be afraid to ask. Its something that we all need to learn to do and something that has huge benefits to us when we do take time out when we are exhausted. Asking for help isn't a failure, its something that is very much needed more in this world especially if you feel like you are struggling.

On Saturday evening my husband and I went to Aqua Shard for drinks. This was on the 32nd floor of the Shard, a building I am in awe of the architecture of it. It was soooo nice to just be the two of us. We got dressed up and I felt a million dollars. Sometimes again its so nice to get out of the everyday life and really spoil yourself. This again releases the calming hormone serotonin where you feel so calm and relaxed and it also releases endorphins your happy hormone. Just by having time to yourselves and really enjoy the quiet around you (even just sitting on your bed and relaxing makes you feel a sense of calm).

Now I know you might not be able to go away because of finances which is fine but try to do something that you wouldn't normally do. So if you are at home, don't just do normal chores because that's when you are not relaxing when you have time off. Try to do something that you wouldn't normally do as this will give you a sense of stillness. Go and sit on your bed and relax. Read a book, meditate, journal and really feel connected to yourself and your partner.

Having time out really has made us feel more connected to each other and that we can be better parents to our two children. It has made us feel closer to each other again and respect each other more especially with parenting. So the takeaway from this post is that taking time out either by yourself or together is really needed. We haven't had time off since last October which was 8 months ago. Don't feel bad asking for help. You need to feel like you again for you to carry on with your everyday tasks.

If you feel like you are struggling and are not sure where to go with your time/relationship/motherhood etc then schedule a FREE call and we can have a chat. I know exactly how you are feeling right now as I was in exactly the same place a few months ago. Take time out for you to have a calming call with me. Leave a comment below and we can have a chat.

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Have a great day.

Lots of love xxx


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