My Story

I'm Gemma, I am a certified & multi-award winning Sex and Relationship Coach.​

​​

​

About me : Darren and I met in 2000, and have been together ever since. I was seventeen, he was twenty two. We married in 2010 on a beach in Turkey. that was one of the best days of my life. We also share two beautiful children together. 

​

 

While right now, I am living my best life. It wasn’t always this way… Back in 2006 I was so stressed out my hair was coming out in clumps, I was working night shifts on rotation never seeing Darren and making silly mistakes at work, which as veterinary nurse could have resulted in some terrible accidents.

​​

​

Like you, I wanted the ‘Disney princess life where I was supported by Prince charming’, but conflicted as deep down, I wanted to have a career and provide for myself and my family…

​

​

To the outside world I had all these things. On the inside though… something wasn’t quite right…

​

​

At that time, even though I’d spent years and thousands of pounds working up the ladder in my field to become the Head Nurse, it was a double-edged sword. Every day I’d return home stressed out, resenting the job and then feeling guilty because of everything I’d put myself through and my partner through to get there…

​

​

I remember this one Vet, who always had the last say in everything, even if what he was saying would cause friction, put extra pressure on the team and even go against things which worked. He seemed to truly enjoy the power he held. I got to the point where I genuinely just couldn’t take it. For months I’d come home in tears because of frustration, feeling helpless and realising I had the rest of my life with this to look forward too. My husband, Darren and I were arguing all the time. Our intimacy had completely stopped and we were just resenting each other. We hasn't had sex in 6 months. Our communication had gone from being amazing to non existent all because of work. It was at that moment where I decided to make all this stop.

​

​

One day, I came home and told Darren that we needed a break. We needed a break from everyday life to fond ourselves again. After a little persuasion and it didn’t take much, we booked a 7-month backpacking trip and left our lives behind to find some semblance of happiness.

​

​

Those months were truly amazing. The first three months we visited South Africa and China which gave me the opportunity to go on safari, camp out under the stars and I remember in just the first couple of days looking up at the sky in the middle of the night during a storm and a sense of peace washing over me as though all the stress had completely lifted from my shoulders. The best thing, Darren felt it too. For the first time in nearly a year I felt close to him, even though I hadn’t realised I was falling apart. I felt his hand fold into mine when we were watching an electric storm together in a little hostel in Hogsback, South Africa. From that moment, we knew we'd be okay if we put the work in and dedicated ourselves to being present every single minute of the day to each other.

​

​

After Africa and China we visited Thailand. To this day, it is by far the most chilled out place that I have ever visited. Everyone is so friendly, they’re all happy and the thing that struck me was they have in Western terms quite a poor lifestyle. Here I was with the job, the money, a fabulous home and I was resenting my life. They didn’t have any of these things and they were truly happy.

​

​

Midway through our stint in Thailand I was relaxing on Ko Pha Ngan beach in a hammock. The sun was shining, I was reading Fast Food nation, which let me tell you, has stopped me going anywhere near any fast-food restaurants even all these years later… Then as I took a little break from the horrors of the book something caught my eye to left of me. There was this group of 5 Thai people, doing really weird things on the sand all in unison. I woke up my partner and said, look at them, and intrigued, we both just lay there watching what they were doing. Completely mesmerised.

​

​

The thing that struck me the most was just how happy, relaxed and calm they all were after this hour. I’d seen things about yoga before, my nan used to do it and loved it but I’d always dismissed it instead opting for running, swimming and cycling to get exercise. This hour of watching those five people on the beach made me realise that yoga isn’t about exercise, it’s about finding inner peace through movement.

​

​

I hatched my plan.

That moment on the beach and that realisation seemed to stay in my mind, it just wouldn’t go away. Then roughly two weeks later, when I landed in Malaysia I had enough of being hounded by the beach image and purposely hunted down a bookshop and purchased ‘An Idiot’s Guide To Yoga’.

After reading the book, even with no equipment, I was determined to get the same feeling as those 5 on the beach. I remember doing all kinds of crazy moves, which had me falling over more times than not, my partner thinking I’d lost the plot and having bruises over my arms and legs from smacking into the bunk beds in the hostel.

After just a few weeks I was starting to feel lighter, more uplifted and a lot less stressed. I knew that it was because of the yoga and all the wellbeing modalities that come with it. To make myself keep it up, when we ended up in New Zealand, I bought my first yoga mat, which over 19 years later I still have.

​

​

Through the trip I continued to invest my time in yoga and made a plan for getting back to the UK and keeping it up.​ because I knew that yoga, breath work, meditation, EFT Tapping, movement, grounding and healing all had a profound effect on my mental health and our relationship.

 

 

While we were in Malaysia, we actually were able to be intimate with each other, because I had learnt that in such a short space of time, when you are in your own body and feel safe, your body wants and craves the closeness of another person. I was also able to feel like I could self pleasure and masturbate again, something that I hadn't been able to do for so long because my body was always in fight or flight mode. For once in nearly a year again, I was able to climax with self pleasure because I had learned to be able to be in the parasympathetic nervous system my rest and digest mode. I was able to fully orgasm, for my clitoris to be felt and for me to tell Darren where I needed to be touched.

 

 

Sex was something that we hadn't been able to do for now getting on nearly a year. It felt weird at first and very awkward but once we relaxed and made an intention for it to just flow, we really enjoyed having the closeness back again. We'd both missed each other. It felt like we were having sex again for the first time. We were laughing and having fun because again the fun had been zapped out of our personalities and of course of relationship. Once we'd had sex we we're then able to come at our relationship from a completely different angle. We were there for each other everyday. Making each other laugh, playing, being silly and not feeling like being in a relationship was a chore.

​

​

Also along my journey I was unlucky and we experienced a miscarriage which for many people ends up being the end of their relationship but when all was said and done this made us closer. I remember when we went into the ultrasound room back in June 2012. We were so excited to see our little baby. The sonographer spent a good few minutes trying to find the heart beat and he couldn't so he asked another doctor to come and have a look. He eventually told us that there was no heart beat found and that we'd lost the foetus at 6 weeks old, we were at our 12 week scan at that point. What followed was months of arguing, feeling helpless, like I couldn't or deserved to be a mother. We suffered months of no physical contact, no intimacy, even though both of us were really hurting and needing each other, we needed to get back to that place of communication and happiness again. We just weren't being open, honest raw and real with each other.

​

​

That was the start of our journey back in 2006 in South Africa and then in 2012 with the miscarriage. Because of where our journey had begun, I now have a truly solid relationship, which I genuinely believe would have not have been the case had I not put myself first. You have to learn to love and respect yourself first before you can love another.​

​

​

Now you may be thinking that all sounds great but it’s not going to help you have the life, the relationship and the career you’ve been dreaming of since you were a really little girl. Here’s the thing, I now teach all of these healing modalities through my certified sex and relationship coaching that I can share with you and work with you on a one to one basis for you to be where I am now. I have been there and experienced first hand so I can now pass this all on to you for you to having a fulfilling, open, honest intimate relationship. 

​

​

I started my Sex and Relationship coaching business back in August 2019 as I knew I had so much to share and help other couples who are and have been through the same situations. 

​

​

Darren and I now work together as business partners within the Gemma Nice Brand as well as life partners. He is always behind the scenes working on the website or our social media accounts. His favourite activity is to be creating Pintrest Pins for the business as well as creating media attention for me to share my knowledge through magazines, newspapers and radio outlets. I am collaborating with a lot of brands including LoveHoney, Condom UK, Hugh James Law Firm, Shoorah App, and I have written my debut erotic novel, Bound By Desire. 

 

 

So as you can see we have gone from broken to healed and now I am passing my wisdom, knowledge and life experience onto you because I know you deserve so much more.