'We're arguing all the time over silly things'

'We're arguing all the time over silly things'.

I hear this a lot from my clients. But actually the silly things aren't so silly in real life. These are the things which are making you feel rubbish and feel alone and feel that you cannot talk to your partner about it because all you will end up doing is snapping at each other.

The way through this is to talk calmly to each other.

No shouting, or screaming at each other. Respect each other. Allow the person to speak without you interrupting them and visa versa.

Be patient, allow them to speak and finish their sentence even if you don't agree with them.

Then say your piece and say it differently. So instead of saying 'No you are wrong and I don't want to do that' say 'Ok thankyou, I hear you but this is my view on it.

Keep calm and low voices. Do not raise your voice. By speaking calmly and openly about whatever it is that is upsetting you, you are communicating and communication is key to anything in a relationship.

If you are struggling to communicate, bring breath work into your daily life. This will allow you to feel calmer quicker. Close your eyes, soften your jaw, push your shoulders down away from your ears and inhale through the nose. Exhale slowly through the mouth. Repeat three times. This allows your serotonin levels to rise and your cortisol levels to fall.

You will come at the conversation from a completely different mindset allowing you to be calm and collected, rather than shouting and angry.

The silly things will actually become silly because you will be able to see past the drama and loneliness and concentrate on you and your life with the body of you reading from the same page.

Let me know if this resonated with you by leaving a 💔 emoji. If you know someone who also needs to hear this right now, then tag someone.

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Have a good day.

Lots of love xxx