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Blog: Blog2
  • Writer's pictureGemma

Are You 'The Mistress' Or The Mrs?

Updated: Jan 24, 2021

I am reading ‘The Mistress’ By Martine McCutcheon and it has really brought my attention to all the things female business professionals struggle with in their relationships. The main character is called Mandy and she is a business professional (an events manager) living life in London. She loves her job, her life and now has fallen for a married man. She really didn’t want to fall for him as she is not a home wrecker. She saw him at the bar while on a night out for her 30th Birthday drinks. She spoke to him and there was amazing chemistry between them. He said to her that he was married. She gave him her card as he might need her for events in his line of work. They didn’t speak for a few weeks and then actually met up. She couldn’t go through with it as she thought she didn’t want to wreck another woman’s life by having an affair with her husband. A few weeks past again and he left numerous calls and messages. She then got back to him and they ended up going away for a night to a beautiful hotel in the country and went ice skating. I’m still reading this book and am halfway through it so I will let you know when I am finished. I read it years ago when it first came out and thought I’d read it again as now I am in the relationship line of work.

Do you know what though, this book really resonates with me. I can tell that Mandy is a lady who struggles with relationships due to the high demands of her job. Now a lot of my clients struggle to as they too have high powered jobs. They strive for the connection, lust and spark in a relationship but just do not want to be the ‘other women’. They do not want to be the ‘mistress’. Now for some women this works well. They get their man at certain times and love the chemistry between the two. They do not need the baggage which comes with the full commitments of a relationship. But on the other hand, they feel they want to show off their man and be in a ‘public relationship’ of which because he is married, he cannot be seen to be out with another women. This is hard for both parties as say in Mandy’s case she wants him all the time and to be fully committed to him, yet he can’t because he has to go home to his wife and children. A man who says they will leave their wife for you, will never leave. He has to much to gamble especially if there are children involved.

So being a woman, you really need to be careful and not get to involved with your feelings. Go for it and see how you feel but ultimately know you are going to get hurt. I know a few women who have been the ‘other women’ and they have always never felt good once he has left her and gone back to his other life. I think as a woman you will always want to be cuddled, taken care of in some way and loved for being you. We strive for that connection however we get it and want to feel loved. Now for him to come and find you and have an affair, something must be wrong in their relationship. Maybe they do not have sex anymore or have lost that spark and connection because of children or they have just become familiar with each other. Maybe he wants to find that spark again and connection with someone else because his wife is to busy with the children etc. Yes, the connection of a new found relationship is exciting and always will be but please don’t get hurt by throwing yourself into something you maybe need to be wary of.

'Remember that every moment we live, we are creating our history and it's down to us to make our story as memorable and magical as possible. We are here for a good time, not necessarily a long time'

Do You Want To Be More Than Just A Mistress?

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I hope you find this post helpful.

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Have a blessed day!


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