If you’ve been scrolling through social media lately, you have undoubtedly seen couples sitting side-by-side, arms folded, chanting a single phrase into the camera: “We listen and we don’t judge.” The premise of this viral trend is simple. Partners take turns confessing hidden secrets to each other with the ironclad promise that the other person cannot react or get angry. On the surface, it’s done in a completely jokey way.

We live in a world where society expects to be involved in everything, right down to what a person ate for lunch. But recently, a much more concerning trend has taken over social media: people platforming their raw, painful, and often toxic breakups online. TikTok and Instagram are flooded with videos racking up 12 million views apiece, where creators play real, abusive, or highly reactive voice notes left by their exes.