Why Jeremiah Fisher is a Walking Red Flag in 'The Summer I Turned Pretty': A Relationship Coach’s Breakdown

With the massive success of The Summer I Turned Pretty on our screens and bookshelves, fans on TikTok have been locked in a fierce debate over Team Conrad vs. Team Jeremiah.

But if we strip away the romantic music and look at the behavior objectively, Jeremiah's actions during the wedding storyline raise some serious, real-life relationship red flags.

As a sex and relationship coach, I analyse these dynamics to help people spot toxic patterns in their own lives. While it is easy to sweep these moments under the rug as teen drama, Jeremiah exhibits classic narcissistic traits, emotional avoidance, and a severe lack of maturity.

Here is my expert breakdown of Jeremiah Fisher's five biggest red flags, and what they reveal about his capacity for a healthy marriage.

1. The Financial Manipulation of the Proposal

The Scenario: Proposing without a ring, then purchasing one using his father’s credit card without permission (while his father still funds his university lifestyle).

Proposing without a ring or a financial plan is a major red flag. It highlights a total lack of financial responsibility, security, and maturity. By using his father’s money without permission, Jeremiah is essentially stealing and keeping secrets from Belly. He is trying to manipulate her into a commitment while hoping she won’t find out the truth about his lack of independence.

An engagement ring is supposed to be a symbol of love, commitment, and personal sacrifice. Jeremiah completely diminishes its sentimental value because he strips away the honesty behind it. This reveals a deeper pattern: he is currently incapable of having open, honest conversations about finances with anyone, especially his parents and his future wife.

2. Choosing Gold for a Silver-Wearer: The Lack of Attentiveness

The Scenario: Selecting a gold engagement ring when his fiancée exclusively wears silver jewelry.

This isn't just a minor fashion oversight; it signals a profound lack of attentiveness. Jeremiah isn't looking at the bigger picture or thinking about what Belly would actually love, he is simply choosing what he likes.

This behavior is incredibly self-absorbed and edges into narcissistic territory. By ignoring her clear preference for silver, he leaves her feeling like he doesn't truly know her. If a partner misses the little, obvious details in your daily life, it is a guaranteed sign that they will miss the massive emotional details when real life gets tough down the line.

3. Financial Entitlement and the Dinner Order

The Scenario: Ordering the most expensive item on the menu when his future mother-in-law (who has limited financial means) offers to pay, solely to impress his wealthy father.

This behavior screams entitlement and a total lack of empathy. Jeremiah is used to his father’s lavish lifestyle, so he blindly pushes the boundaries of how far Belly’s mother will go, entirely disrespecting her actual financial situation.

Rather than showing consideration and basic social awareness, his mindset is a selfish she'll pay. This moment highlights a severe lack of healthy boundaries, communication, and empathy toward others. He is prioritising his own ego over the comfort of his future family.

4. Weaponizing the Word Bridezilla

The Scenario: Calling his fiancée a bridezilla after completely refusing to help her with any wedding planning.

When a partner checks out of shared responsibilities and leaves the entire mental and physical load on you, it is a red flag. Jeremiah shows zero support or empathy for Belly's stress. Instead of understanding her need to lean on him, he pushes her away.

By weaponizing the word bridezilla, he is actively controlling the situation to create a negative outcome where he gets to play the victim. He refuses to compromise. Belly is left feeling emotional, stressed, and isolated, yet his immaturity prevents him from seeing past his own convenience. If he abandons her during wedding planning, it begs the question: what other major life decisions will she be forced to make entirely on her own?

5. The Panic Proposal After Cheating

The Scenario: Proposing immediately after their brief breakup, right after Belly discovers he cheated on her, without processing the betrayal.

This is perhaps his most dangerous red flag. By rushing into a marriage proposal immediately after breaking her trust, Jeremiah is intentionally trapping Belly. He isn't giving her the necessary time and space to heal, grieve, or process her feelings regarding his betrayal.

Instead, he is completely avoiding accountability for his actions, rushing her for a yes to sweep his cheating under the rug. When a betrayal is bypassed like this, the trauma doesn't vanish. It gets carried directly into the relationship foundation, where it will inevitably manifest into deeper issues with trust, communication, and honesty further down the line.

Deeper Relationship Dynamics

Sentiment vs. Size: Why the Ring's Origin Matters

"The size of an engagement ring isn't a red flag in itself, appreciation and genuine sentiment matter infinitely more than carat count. However, Jeremiah’s obsession with a flashier ring, funded entirely by his father, speaks to a deep insecurity. He chooses a big ring to make himself look good to outsiders, rather than looking intently at the fine, intricate details that would make Belly feel uniquely loved. This pattern is highly likely to repeat throughout a marriage. She will continuously feel unheard and unseen because he values external perception over listening to his partner's actual desires.

Skipping the Father’s Permission: Is it Dated?

In traditional or close-knit family dynamics like Belly’s, skipping the step of asking her father for permission can raise eyebrows.

In the modern dating world, asking a parent's permission is largely an outdated expectation. The act itself isn't a red flag, but Jeremiah’s motive for skipping it is. If he truly understood Belly, he would know how much her family’s traditions mean to her. A mature partner would abide by that tradition because they know it would mean the world to the person they love. By skipping it, Jeremiah once again proves that he is thinking only of his own timeline and comfort, reinforcing those narcissistic traits.

Let's Open the Conversation.

Are you Team Conrad or Team Jeremiah, or do you agree that Jeremiah's behavior patterns show some serious real-life warning signs?

Have you ever experienced a partner who used grand gestures, like a sudden proposal or gift, to gloss over bad behavior or a betrayal?

Let’s have a raw, honest discussion in the comments below.

If you are seeing some of these red flags, communication blocks, or narcissistic tendencies in your own relationship and want to learn how to set firm, healthy boundaries, I am here to guide you.

Head over to gemmanice.com today to book a private 1:1 Breakthrough Coaching Session. Let's work together to make sure you feel entirely seen, heard, and valued in your love life.