Stigma is essentially a pleasure killer because it keeps the body in a state of fight or flight. When we feel like self-pleasure is a secret or a chore, our cortisol stays high and the blood never makes it down to the 10,000 nerve endings where we need it most. Whenever I see my clients, the first thing we talk about is that feeling loved has to start from within. If you can’t love yourself, you can’t fully love another, and this is exactly where masturbation comes in.