Communication Module Video And PDF

Communication is key to anything in a relationship.

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Remember that the other person is not a mind reader so you will need to speak to them and bring up whatever it is that is bothering you. Remember that communication is the hardest thing to do but it gets you so many places.

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Communication isn't just about talking, it can be via touch to so maybe take a bath or shower together or just have a cuddle on the sofa without being interrupted by phones or devices. ​Have time away from devices and have some quality time together to really connect.

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During arguments do you always say ‘You don’t care about me, you are inconsiderate and don’t text or phone me’?

​You always use the ‘You’ statements instead of ‘I’ statements. ​So, you need to change the way you both speak to each other. ​It’s called ‘I statements’ and here is a little bit of how you can build that into your conversations. ​It can be difficult to use “I-statements” if you’re not used to this type of language. These “I-statement examples” will help.

• “I get anxious when you don’t tell me you’re running late.”
• “I felt embarrassed when you were talking to that man at the party for half an hour.”
• “I get confused and hurt when you leave your clothes on the floor because I thought I had communicated how important it was that you put them in the laundry basket.”
• “I feel resentful when you take our dog to the dog park on the weekends without me when we have not had time together for weeks.”

It’s all about trying to switch up how you feel without sounding to whiny or the blame onto him as in ‘you make me feel angry or upset when you…’

This is putting the blame onto him, so it’s both of you who need to learn another way of talking. So, for example on the ‘YOU’ Statement you could say ‘You don’t care about me. You are inconsiderate. You never make time to text or call me’. But on the ‘I’ Statement you could say this ‘When you don’t pay me attention or call or text me, I feel disconnected and lonely.’ Do you get what I am saying here. It’s all about switching up the way you speak to each other. Darren and I used to do the ‘you’ statements and to start with it is hard to use more ‘I’ statement’s but it really does help during arguments when you try this method.

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Give it a go and see how you get on.

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When it comes to sex, don't be afraid to have a frank and honest conversation about desires, boundaries and consent.

It may be that one of you is shy when it comes to sex. You might not be open to trying something new or you might be scared and afraid that you will disappoint your partner. Before you find the courage to do this, take some self care time. This will allow you to really think about what you want to say and it will become clearer in your head. Take yourself for a walk in nature, and really notice how you feel when you connect back to your roots. Breathe in fresh air and again notice how you feel. Everything will become a lot clearer and you will be able to focus more on how you want to approach the subject of sex and what your desires are. Be open and honest in your conversation and tell your partner the boundaries you are willing to go to. Have a sense of self worth, self love and self compassion. You need to feel safe and feel free and only ever consent to something that isn't past your boundaries. Be able to have passionate sex but also be able to communicate with your partner. Remember if you don't feel safe and happy, then remove yourself from the situation.

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Watch the video on How To Communicate and do the Worksheet PDF below.